Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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