possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You left your phone here
Wait...
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