Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize