You're my little dorito
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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