That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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