No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize