so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize