i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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