haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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