Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize