She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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