In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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