..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize