i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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