My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize