Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize