How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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