oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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