if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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