You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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