My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize