I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize