i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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