Banned from zoo.
Again?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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