He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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