im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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