I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize