I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize