No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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