I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize