small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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