oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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