dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it because I queefed?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
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She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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