why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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