Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize