Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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