so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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