I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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