I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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