based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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