I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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