6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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