hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So. Much. Porn.
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