so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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