We're like a lot better than the average bears
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
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He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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