I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize