We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize