try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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