he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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