If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize