he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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