don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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